בדיחות קלילות לימי הקיץ הלוהטים

TheMarker Cafeאנה הוקונברסיהבדיחות קלילות לימי הקיץ הלוהטים

קונברסיה

בדיחות קלילות לימי הקיץ הלוהטים

‎3

יחסים

1 תגובות יום רביעי, 29/7/09, 13:28

> >> My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was
> >> flipping channels.
> >> > She asked, 'What's on the TV?'
> >> > > I said, 'Dust.'
> >> > >
> >> > > And then the fight started...
> >> > >
> >> > > ******************************************
> >> > >
> >> > > My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while
> >> > > we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
> >> > > "No," she answered.
> >> > > I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
> >> > > She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."
> >> > > So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
> >> > >
> >> > > And then the fight started....
> >> > >
> >> > > ******************************************
> >> > >
> >> > > Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch,
> >> > grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up
> >> > the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a
> >> > torrential downpour.. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back
> >> > into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the
> >> > weather would be bad all day.
> >> > >
> >> > > I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back
> >> > > into
> >> > bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different
> >> > anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
> >> > >
> >> > > My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid
> >> > > husband
> >> > is out fishing in that?"
> >> > >
> >> > > And that's how the fight started...
> >> > >
> >> > > ******************************************
> >> > > *****************************************
> >> > >
> >> > > My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
> >> > anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to
> >> > 150 in about 3 seconds...'
> >> > >
> >> > > I bought her a set of scales.
> >> > >
> >> > > And then the fight started.....
> >> > >
> >> > > ******************************************
> >> > >
> >> > > When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her
> >> > > someplace
> >> > expensive...
> >> > > so, I took her to a gas station.
> >> > >
> >> > > And then the fight started....
> >> > >
> >> > > ******************************************
> >> > >
> >> > > After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
> >> > Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my
> >> > driver's license to verify my age... I looked in my pockets and
> >> > realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was
> >> > very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
> >> > >
> >> > > The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt
> >> > > revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on
> >> > > your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social
> >> > > Security application
> >> > >
> >> > > When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at
> >> > > the
> >> > Social Security office..
> >> > >
> >> > > She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have
> >> > > gotten
> >> > disability, too.'
> >> > >
> >> > > And then the fight started...
> >> > >
> >> > > ******************************************
> >> > >
> >> > > My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,
> >> > > and I
> >> > kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink a she sat alone
> >> > at a nearby table.
> >> > >
> >> > > My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
> >> > >
> >> > > 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took
> >> > > to
> >> > drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear
> >> > she hasn't been sober since.'
> >> > >
> >> > > 'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on>
> >> celebrating that long?'
> >> > >
> >> > > And then the fight started...
> >> > >
> >> > > ******************************************
> >> > >
> >> > > I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took
> >> > > my
> >> > order first.
> >> > > "I'll hav the strip steak, medium rare, please."
> >> > > He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
> >> > > Nah, she can order for herself."
> >> > >
> >> > > And then the fight started....
> >> > >
> >> > > ******************************************
> >> > >
> >> > > A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
> >> > > She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I
> >> > > feel
> >> > horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
> >> > > I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
> >> > >
> >> > > The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect..'
> >> > >
> >> > > And then the fight started.....
> >>
> >
> >
>
>
>