^{In a discussion following my post ( http://cafe.themarker.com/view.php?t=124051) גנאדי asked about using the words ‘awesome’ ‘great’ or ‘nice’ and my reply can be found under the same post.In my response to him I promised to write about the slippery slope of giving compliments in English so here we go.Comparative socio-linguistic research tells us that the form of a compliment in Hebrew is very different to that in English. (This isn’t surprising since even among native English speakers, the form of compliments and the responses to them differ). So we find that compliments, which were found to be rare in Hebrew interaction,  take the form of a ‘back-handed compliment  e.g.: Someone has a new jacket and the comment might be: סוף סןף מצאת את הזמן לקנות ג'קט חדש But in English a compliment is a way to bond with the person you are speaking to. It’s definitely worthwhile, maybe even expected in certain situations. Let’s say you visit the office of a business associate. S/he will probably expect you to make some complimentary comment. In fact  the absence of a compliment might be ‘heard’ as a  negative message!!My suggestion when making Small Talk is GENERALIZE DON’T PERSONALIZE.I wouldn’t recommend saying: “I like your office” or “You have such good taste”.(אנחנו לא מחלקים ציונים) nor would it be a good idea to use Israeli humor and say:“Lovely office It reminds me of home” (Humor is another minefield for Hebrew speakers speaking English)Try something more general like “ Impressive offices”/ “Amazing view”/ “Wonderful art work”. It’s also important to remember to keep your compliment short and simple. A compliment that is overdone may be regarded with suspicion.A good way to build up your bank of language blocks ( complimenting is a language block) is to listen carefully to when and how native speakers of English give compliments….and trust me they will. It’s part of the way they build personal relationships.Also make a note of what people say in response to your compliments. “Thank you” is ordinary, “You’ve made my day” is a formula and “”That will make my interior designer happy” is cool. So if you want to “win friends and influence people” in the words of Dale Carnegie, try giving a compliment.}

^Lola