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      6/6/10 14:50:


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    Jewish stuff

    2 תגובות   יום שבת, 5/6/10, 07:22

    1The  Harvard   School  of  Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so  much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backward is 'Not Now'.

    2.  There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from medical  school.

    3.  Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink?
    A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.

    4.  Q: Have you seen the newest Jewish-American- Princess horror  movie?
    A: It's called 'Debbie Does  Dishes.'

    5.  Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?
    A:  They never let anyone finish a sentence.

    6.  Q: What's a Jewish American Princess 's favorite  position?
    A: Facing Bloomingdale' s.(LOL-Love it!!!)

    7.  When the doctor called Mrs. Liebenbaum to tell her that her check came back, she replied, 'So did my  arthritis.'

    8.  A man called his mother in  Florida , 'Mom, how are you?' 'Not too good,' said the mother. 'I've been very weak.' The son  said, 'Why are you so weak?' She said, 'Because I haven't eaten in 38 days.' The son said, 'That's terrible. Why haven't you  eaten in 38 days?' The mother answered, 'Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call.'

    9.  A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has a part in the play. She asks, 'What part is it?' The boy  says, 'I play the part of the Jewish husband.' The mother scowls and says, 'Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part.'

    10.  Q: Where does a Jewish husband hide money from his wife?
    A:  Under the vacuum cleaner.

    11.  Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light  bulb?
    A: (Sigh) Don't bother. I'll sit in the dark. I  don't want to be a bother to  anybody.

    12.  Short summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat.

    13.  Did you hear about the bum who walked up to a Jewish mother on the street and said, 'Lady I haven't eaten in three days..  ''Force yourself,' she replied.

    14.  Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother?
    A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.

    15.  Jewish telegram: 'Begin worrying. Details to  follow.'

    16.  Q: Why are Jewish Men circumcised?
    A: Because Jewish women don't like anything that isn't 20%  off.

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      benklinger
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