I ended my last post (Mind the Gap) by asking readers to consider what they thought it meant to be polite when speaking English. I hope some of you did that.

BTW, I’d really like my blog to be interactive, so if you have any comments or questions about what I write, or even just an unrelated question about English, “Don’t hesitate to be in touch”.
And it goes without saying that it’s OK to write to me in Hebrew. If you prefer to do so privately my email is communic@netvision.net.il

Now, some Hebrew Speakers of English (HSE) think that adding the words “please” and “thank you” will ensure that they sound ‘polite’ when speaking English. This is such a popular belief that some years ago, an organisation called ‘עם יפה’ launched a project with flyers which read:
כולנו אומרים בבקשה ותודה
You will even find many pop training courses emphasizing the need to use these words in English, but it’s unwise to simply import politeness markers from one language to another without considering how they are used in real world interactions.

Let’s start off with how the word “please” is used in English.

A ‘golden rule’ is this: Whenever you make a direct request add the word “please”. E.g.

On the phone: “Could I speak to Mr Smith please”
At a conference: “Could everyone come inside please”

You may think this is a pretty easy rule to follow but when HSE role play interactions in my training sessions, they often forget to use the word “please” when making a request.
And it’s NOT because HSE are impolite. It’s just because בבקשה isn’t naturally appended to requests in Hebrew.
 
Then there’s the problem of where to put the word in the sentence.
Most HSE think the position is arbitrary, that it makes no difference whether the word comes at the end, at the beginning or in the middle of the request. But in fact we change the ‘weight’ of the request when we change the position of the word.

The most natural place to insert “please” is at the end of the sentence like the examples above.

Placing it at the beginning of a request is slightly stronger and sounds authoritative. E.g.
The person in charge of organisation at a conference might say to participants:
“Please could everyone come inside.”

The least common position for “please” is in the middle of a request and oddly, it’s the position many HSE seem to prefer. But I wouldn’t recommend this since the request could be interpreted as being somewhat impatient. “Could everyone please come inside?”

Of course we do use the word בבקשה when speaking Hebrew. Often it occurs as a single word.
However we will see that direct translation of this use of בבקשה into English doesn’t always work.
Following are a few examples to illustrate the point.

In Hebrew it’s common to hear “בבקשה” used as a single word in the following situations:

a. when something is being given to someone, often in the service industry.
The translation for this in English could be “Here you are” / “There you go” / “This is for you” but NOT “Please”.

b. when someone is offering a service to people waiting in line.
The translation for this in English could be “Next” but NOT “Please”.

c. when someone responds to an expression of thanks.
The translation for this in English could be “My pleasure” /”Think nothing of it”/ “No problem”/
“Don’t mention it” but NOT “Please” (and not “For nothing”).

d. when someone responds positively to an offer of something.
Although you might hear the response “Please” to the offer:” Something to drink?” it might be more common to answer: “Yes please” or “Thank you”.

Which brings us to “Thank you”, a topic I’ll deal with in my next post.
Lola