I hope at least some readers have been thinking about the question I raised at the end of my last post:
What to say when we REALLY want to say “Thank you” in English?

The answer isn’t easy. There are lots of course books which offer some standard expressions of thanks and they would make useful additions to our ‘bank’ of language blocks.
But the best way to ‘get it right’ is to listen to interactions between Native Speakers of English (NSE). You’ll notice that expressions of thanks will be different depending on how well the speakers know each another. E.g.:
In interactions between people who don’t know each another well, you might hear:
“Thank you very much for your help” We really appreciate it”
whereas if they are friends you might hear:
“’preciate it” / “I owe you one”/”What would I do without you?”

When a guest abroad says a formal goodbye to a host you might hear:
“Thank you very much for you kind hospitality. We look forward to reciprocating very soon.”  
But if the relationship between them is less formal you may hear:
“Thanks for everything. It’s been great. Come and see us soon.”

However, when we are listening to NSE interactions whether on TV, movies or in real life situations, it’s not enough to focus only on HOW to express thanks.
It’s also essential to know how to RESPOND to thanks that are expressed.
If we don’t respond, this zero response to an expression of thanks could be ‘heard’ as being ‘impolite’.

Listen to hosts on English TV talk shows. They often end by saying something like:
 “Thank you for being with us.”  And the formulaic response of the guest will be something like:
“Thank you for inviting me.”/ “Thank you for having me on the show.”

In fact, not knowing the formulaic responses to expressions of thanks can lead to misunderstandings.
A Hebrew Speaker of English (HSE), took a training course before he relocated to London and among many things he learned was the necessity of saying “thank you”, especially to a host.
So he decided to pass on this tip to his son when he was invited to a classmate’s birthday party.
לא לשכוח לומר בסוף המסיבה
“Thanks for having me”.
When the boy returned home his dad checked whether the son had remembered to use the ‘magic formula’.
אני זכרתי אבל אני לא אמרתי כי הילד לפניי אמר בדיוק את המשפט הזה לאמא והיא השיבה
“Don’t mention it”.  

The VERY IMPORTANT lesson to be learned from this true anecdote is that much of the interaction in Small Talk is made up of formulaic expressions which should NEVER be translated literally.

More about formulaic expressions next time.

Lola