Last night I dreamt I was hit by a bus, and as I lay in the arms of the good looking bus driver / or passing by photographer (it wasn’t clear), and blood flowed from my head…I suddenly realized that I had made no arrangements for my untimely death.  As I lay there, my whole life flashed before me, three and a half hours later I died (well a lot happened in my life).

When I woke up, I immediately decided to make the following list: 

Dog – goes to my mother (a so so mother, but the dog she loves)

Work – no worries my neighbor shiri can sms them, I will be replaced within half an hour.

My phone – will go to Nookie (bring her into modernity) and that little bit of dope I have in the pink tin.

Sex in the city box set – to my mum’s lesbian friend Linda.

Collection of Chinese (for good luck) cats – to Dave my most recent ex (plus Bluetooth stick, ugly red vase and weird looking apple pen, which he got me and I never use)

CD’s – to Sharon (because she’s the only person who would enjoy them). She can also have the original 60’s suitcase record player and the records that go with it.

Computer and accessories – to my little brother (he's 13). My sister will be happy with clothes.

All my savings- to my dad (after all the money I have taken from him )

Gila can have all the spiritual Buda’s, fish, ducks, coins and incense (which she has given me over the years, plus the dolphin's mating CD).

Beers – Rotem can take them (he lives downstairs), there’s no food to speak of in the fridge, hopefully he’ll switch it off cause the electricity bill will be enormous otherwise (note to self: must leave note on fridge)

Please note no funeral – my friends and family will get an envelope with a goodbye message, and bit of money (for all the birthdays I‘ll miss), which I will organize this weekend. I would ask Orli to do it but (maybe unstable) she still crys every day about her cat dying 2 months ago! 

The Marker – Nookie can close my account, 2 days after she has published my farewell post, where I will reveal the  true identity of ARTGIRL…..(and yes I will ask her to send an irritating all e-mail notifying you of it, so don’t get angry, I am fucking dead!).  

I feel better, there's a written record of my last wishes.....

Now to get back to living!