So everyone keeps asking me how I am. You really want to know…..I mean really?Ok so here goes; my body looks like a deflated balloon or a jumper which you used to love but has now been completely stretched out of shape. I have a huge cut across my  private part, which means moving is very painful. Blood, coming out from every hole. Oh yeah and one breast is hanging out for all the world to see (which is about 25 people a day here) at all times. My partner has become a fully qualified doctor (or so he thinks) and lectures me on how, when and why everything I am doing is wrong (mostly in the middle of the night) and I am so tired I can't remember things that happened an hour ago. My baby bump is not gone and my skin is slightly green. 

The icing on the cake …… I am forced to wear enormous waist high black knickers that would make Kate Moss look like a hippo. I refuse to look at my ass, knowing it would drive me to drink. 

So in short it's great being a new mother, thanks for asking.