Oh remember when having a party meant 6 friends come round, 20 people you don't know turn up and you all smoke too much and drink till your sick or asleep, or both.

Well that's all a far memory now, we are currently preparing my 5 week old baby's first saturday afternoon party. I have my mother cooking and feeling insulted similtanously (she's polish) in my father's kitchen. My stepmother upstairs sick from ex-wife related illness. My sister peeling and cutting everything, while my brother starts and stops 2 minutes later whatever he's asked to help with. I am locked in the bedroom breast feeding a tired baby, while my father has taken the car and vanished (no doubt to avoid the women).

Soon guests of all shapes and sizes will arrive; neighbours, people with babies and other friends of everyone other then me. God only knows what we'll talk about and how much I will owe my mother (in guilt) for preparing the food?

Weird that at this kind of occassion too everyone doesn't want to get completely drunk, throw up and fall asleep.