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    TheMarker Cafeartgirlthe pink deer of truthIf I show you my scars will you show me yours?

    the pink deer of truth

    Quote: rafac 2007 ארטגירל
    את כותבת פשוט מעולה ואני ממליץ לידידיי הטובים להתאמץ ולקרוא אותך באנגלית
    Don't care about commerce, age or business, only care about people and hearing their stories...opinions and sharing mine. You can comment in Hebrew or English...

    If I show you my scars will you show me yours?

    If I show you my scars will you show me yours?

    ‎7

      

    26 תגובות   יום שלישי, 3/7/07, 07:52

    For personal reasons that there's no point to go into. My childhood was one big disappointment. None of my family members were around (they're bohemians).

    Between 8-16, I saw my parents on average twice a week.

    My brother was in Israel in the army (equally alone).

    Everyday I sat at home and waited for them to return, as the long hours passed by, I started to imagine what could have happened to them this time;

    Maybe they were eaten by bears?

    Maybe they were in a terrible accident?

    Maybe they were kidnapped by aliens?

    Maybe they went to Paris (this actually happened)?

    In short....I  was never sure where they were, and when they would re-surface...... (I was the only 11 year old who would shout at their parents for not calling).

    The outcome of such a bizarre childhood, is that I am constantly worrying. I worry about absolutely everything. I can’t help it. Normally it’s in small douses but if I feel that I am being sucked back into something that even slightly resembles house of hell (see above)….I start worrying overtime.

    It’s no use to tell me to stop worrying. Forget telling me to take it easy….these sentences just make me more worried. 

    My worrying is my own self defence mechanism, if the situation is not making me happy, I will worry myself and everyone around me until it’s changed. It’s a crappy method, but what can I say I can’t help it. On the upside, I could never hurt or disappoint anyone because my worrying about it would stop me. As you can imagine I am 20 minutes early for everything and I always keep my promises.

     

    I am fucked up.....but very reliable.

    דרג את התוכן:

      תגובות (26)

      נא להתחבר כדי להגיב

      התחברות או הרשמה   

      סדר התגובות :
      ארעה שגיאה בזמן פרסום תגובתך. אנא בדקו את חיבור האינטרנט, או נסו לפרסם את התגובה בזמן מאוחר יותר. אם הבעיה נמשכת, נא צרו קשר עם מנהל באתר.
      /null/cdate#

      /null/text_64k_1#

      RSS
        4/7/07 08:52:
      ahhhhhhhaaaaaaa thank you sweety
        3/7/07 22:25:

      The feeling is so familiar.

      Thank you for sharing.

        3/7/07 19:26:

       

      Quote: nimrodl 2007-07-03 19:21:34

       

      צטט: artgirl 2007-07-03 18:32:10

       

      Quote: nimrodl 2007-07-03 18:27:19


      so being reliably fucked up is better then being unreliably fucked up?

       

      that is correct.......

       

      but boring 

       

      in your opinion....

      there is something wonderful in good people you can relay on

        3/7/07 19:21:

       

      צטט: artgirl 2007-07-03 18:32:10

       

      Quote: nimrodl 2007-07-03 18:27:19


      so being reliably fucked up is better then being unreliably fucked up?

       

      that is correct.......

       

      but boring 

        3/7/07 19:16:

       

      Quote: shlomober 2007-07-03 19:15:06

      Whenever I am worried I think of things that make me happy:

      My family, good books I read lately, a job I did well, happy meeting with friends, etc.

      It gives me perspective and my worries disappear.

       

       

      ok I will try it next time....and get back to you Smile

        3/7/07 19:15:

      Whenever I am worried I think of things that make me happy:

      My family, good books I read lately, a job I did well, happy meeting with friends, etc.

      It gives me perspective and my worries disappear.

       

        3/7/07 18:50:
      people I can relay on....
        3/7/07 18:44:

       ? What makes you happy

        3/7/07 18:32:

       

      Quote: nimrodl 2007-07-03 18:27:19


      so being reliably fucked up is better then being unreliably fucked up? 

       

      that is correct.......

        3/7/07 18:27:

      so being reliably fucked up is better then being unreliably fucked up? 

        3/7/07 14:50:

       

      Quote: עותי 2007-07-03 14:49:52

      nothing is wrong with being fucked up!!! this way it never gets boring - trust me

      on that

      you are just the sweetest aroud!

      x

       

       

      ahhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaa fucked up good....

      oti fabulous....

      your so sweet too honey.

        3/7/07 14:49:

      nothing is wrong with being fucked up!!! this way it never gets boring - trust me

      on that

      you are just the sweetest aroud!

      x

       

       

        3/7/07 11:54:

       

      Quote: פוקסי 2007-07-03 11:50:51

      oh dear

      i can relate to this so much

      i worry about my family

      i worry about the kids

      worry about not enough food

      worry about the haulocast though it was such a long time ago

       worry about myself

       

       

      for the first time in my life their are others like me....

      I love writing here, I always find someone like me, or good advice, or new friends....or all in one.

      you stay just as you are....your heart is deep and your love endless.....

      I will cross my fingers....that you have many good days.

      kisses

      effie

        3/7/07 11:50:

      oh dear

      i can relate to this so much

      i worry about my family

      i worry about the kids

      worry about not enough food

      worry about the haulocast though it was such a long time ago

       worry about myself

       

        3/7/07 11:40:

       

      Quote: michal_he 2007-07-03 11:36:58

      what can i say?

      You wrote my own words.

      ההורים שלי לא נעדרו אבל כשהם כבר יצאו וחזרו מאוחר תמיד הייתי מודאגת ולא יכולתי להירדם עד שחזרו.

      הייתי מריצה מיליון תסריטים איפה הם ולמה הם לא חוזרים. כשבגרתי זה עבר.

      היום אני דאגנית כמוך והורים שלי עדיין דואגים לי נורא (וגם אחיותיי) וכשהייתי דואגת לאקס שלי זה היה מטריף אותי כי יש הרבה יותר תסריטים. אני לא אוהבת שדואגים לי. זה חונק. גם כשאני דואגת למישהו אני יודעת שזה חונק.

      אנחנו נמשיך לדאוג תמיד ופשוט נלמד לחיות עם זה איכשהו --->>להשתדל לא להגיד "דאגתי לך"!

      Have a great Day!

       

      when i saw the star, I was going to say you didn't have to do that, your so sweet.

      but then when I read the comment and saw that you related to the post so deeply, I thought ok...maybe you really wanted to give me the star...

       

      I have to agree it's a bit honnek like you say, but it's not meant to be...

      I will always worry a little.....I just don't want to worry a lot.

      I am sure you'll agree.Smile

        3/7/07 11:36:

      what can i say?

      You wrote my own words.

      ההורים שלי לא נעדרו אבל כשהם כבר יצאו וחזרו מאוחר תמיד הייתי מודאגת ולא יכולתי להירדם עד שחזרו.

      הייתי מריצה מיליון תסריטים איפה הם ולמה הם לא חוזרים. כשבגרתי זה עבר.

      היום אני דאגנית כמוך והורים שלי עדיין דואגים לי נורא (וגם אחיותיי) וכשהייתי דואגת לאקס שלי זה היה מטריף אותי כי יש הרבה יותר תסריטים. אני לא אוהבת שדואגים לי. זה חונק. גם כשאני דואגת למישהו אני יודעת שזה חונק.

      אנחנו נמשיך לדאוג תמיד ופשוט נלמד לחיות עם זה איכשהו --->>להשתדל לא להגיד "דאגתי לך"!

      Have a great Day!

        3/7/07 09:31:

       

      Quote: soulcat 2007-07-03 09:27:52

       you are like a bank of gold

      i learn from you all the time

       .thanx for being

       

       

       

       

      EmbarassedLaughing

      EmbarassedLaughing

      EmbarassedLaughing

      so we're both very rich then. kisses and have a wonderful day bunny.

        3/7/07 09:27:

       you are like a bank of gold

      i learn from you all the time

       .thanx for being

       

       

       

       

        3/7/07 09:23:

       

      Quote: soulcat 2007-07-03 09:20:22

      loveart

      you can worry as much as you like

      .i'll clean the dishes

      i used to worry

      but it left me with no energy

      ...i keep my faith

       

      i love you

        .worried or not 

       

       

       

       

       

      there are certain people I worry less with, you are one of them...because you accept me as I am, and you help me to step outside of myself and find new solutions....

      this is like having a bank of gold....

      you are my fortune...if you like.Kiss

      I love you tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

        3/7/07 09:22:

       

      Quote: automated alice 2007-07-03 09:19:43

      i know all about worrying over-time, although my parents (or at least half of them) were there all the time....
      so, you know, if it works for you then it's good enough:)
      (see how i'm NOT telling you to take it easy??)

       

      I appreciate that your not....it's not the best method, but it's all I have....for now. maybe with time I will develop some new skills (in my old age).

      I always find good people (like u) to keep me calm, just because you empathise and understand my worries.....

      makes me feel understood and peaceful...xxxxx

        3/7/07 09:20:

      loveart

      you can worry as much as you like

      .i'll clean the dishes

      i used to worry

      but it left me with no energy

      ...i keep my faith

       

      i love you

        .worried or not 

       

       

       

       

        3/7/07 09:19:
      i know all about worrying over-time, although my parents (or at least half of them) were there all the time....
      so, you know, if it works for you then it's good enough:)
      (see how i'm NOT telling you to take it easy??)
        3/7/07 09:00:

       

      Quote: hagaij 2007-07-03 08:10:44

      Good Morning dear.

      You are a way better read than the morning paper.

      I too, have this "fear of disappointing others" effect, however I'm trying to put it under control, since always trying to worry about other people keep you from thinking about a very important person in your life - you.

       

      Have a super day.

       

       

      me? who's that?

      I know, it's awful, It's only in the last 2 years that I have even considered me.

      bloody childhood....ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooooo

      fear is maybe a better word...

      it's funny that you read me like a paper....there's post in there...

      good day honey

        3/7/07 08:59:

       

      Quote: inspire 2007-07-03 08:08:15

      I can understand your situation. No, it is not going to be just fine, it's just going to be.

       

      On the other hand, it helps develop good survival skills. So .. look at the upside.

      Fucked up but reliable is attributed to old cars. You don't seem to be one. You are just unique in your very common problem :)

       

       

       

       

      unique sounds a bit better then crazy woman...so I'll take it.

      Thank you really made me feel good to read what you wrote....you know I was worried about the post....hehe

        3/7/07 08:10:

      Good Morning dear.

      You are a way better read than the morning paper.

      I too, have this "fear of disappointing others" effect, however I'm trying to put it under control, since always trying to worry about other people keep you from thinking about a very important person in your life - you.

       

      Have a super day.

       

        3/7/07 08:08:

      I can understand your situation. No, it is not going to be just fine, it's just going to be.

       

      On the other hand, it helps develop good survival skills. So .. look at the upside.

      Fucked up but reliable is attributed to old cars. You don't seem to be one. You are just unique in your very common problem :)

       

       

       

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