I am currently stuck in London while I try and get me and my 4 month old back to Israel.

And I thought I would give you all a little advice whether you need it or not…..

Never have a virtual relationship, they are nothing like real relationships……don't listen to all those couples that say we met online and within a few months we were married, it just means they are insane.

Never have sex without at least 2 types of contraception, they all say they are 99% safe until you get pregnant and then you discover some 30% risk they forgot to mention.

Never have a baby with someone who's not from the country you want to live in, because the law states that whichever country the baby is born in, the other parent can confine you to that place forever……

Which brings me onto….never have a baby abroad. It's not romantic, it's just a pain in the ass.

Never have a baby with someone who doesn't share the same religion as you, as while there are no children it all seems very liberal and fine, and then you realise that your child won't have the brit, baptism, bar-mitzvah or communion you always thought they would have. Plus the other side's family will think you're totally weird.

And finally my favourite, never ever, think that telling someone you don't love that you're having their baby is the decent thing to do, it's not! Leave them in their ignorance to find someone that does love them and want a family with them.

In short I screwed up.

Thank goodnes for lawyers.