When Shannon was a river
and Turing was a car
When Banyan was a tree
and buses travelled far


dBase was where you ran to
after you hit the ball
Often we were ANSI
RISC aversive not at all


Windows were for looking out of
in a Tandem, two could take a spin
Bridges were for crossing
a frame was to keep pictures in


A semi-conductor was a maestro
not in the big time yet
A port you sought in a storm
fishermen used a net


Woody Guthrie sang of "My LAN"
WAN was a despairing mood
LATAs were for high places
menus featured food

If a cursor used four letter words
a sensor cut them out
The sight of a mouse in an office
was sure to raise a shout


Haloid perfected photocopying
and thereby made a hoard
Then came Japanese competition
and its "ox" was gored


Frequency was measured in cycles
Hertz referred to multiple pain
Modem was a harvesting command
for bringing in the grain


Modelling was at fashion shows
bauds were ladies of the night
Prompting was helping actors
contesting for resources, a fight


Walking and chewing gum concurrently
requires considerable skill
We called it multi-tasking
and by gosh we always will


We had no electronic calculators
just slide rules by Keuffel & Esser
I am still a true believer
Keufel & Esser war besser


Chips were used for gambling
von Neuman was a pup
Monte Carlo a place to visit
squaring the circle ... well, we gave up


A Sprint was less than 880
a relay was a team
Greene was just a color
breaking up AT&T a dream

Coherent was applied to speech
not a spectral line excited
Multi-media meant prose and song
and Noel Coward was knighted


Cerf was found at the beach
a Rose was a Rose was a Rose
Jobs were to look for
and Gates were to close


"2B" was an elementary school class
and "D" a failing grade
A router was a tool
a server was a maid


Lotus was a flower
adobe was a brick
Postscript was an afterthought
joy a popsicle stick


We called a plotter a CAD
a token ring a sham
A buffer was for buffing
a male goat was a ram


The best noise supressor was ... ssh
we knew little of egos and ids
For archival storage and encryption
we looked to the pyramids


Now in accordance with Greenfield's Law
in voice both loud and clear
Here's to exponential growth in memory
& operating speed next year.

Stanley R. Greenfield
Ziff-Davis
One Park Avenue
New York, NY 10016

RFC 1300